Bailey (the Griffipoo) and I are super sad. Our peeps have left the building and we are down in the dumps. All three of our kids went to camp this week and the big guy has to work.
All.Three.Kids. For a week.
Bailey and I are left at home. Just the two of us. At first we were all like, “Oh yeah”! I mean, seriously, how often does that happen? For the hubs and I, it’s the first time in our thirteen-plus years of parenting. I acted all happy and joked about it being the best second honeymoon we could afford. I made all sorts of plans for the crap projects I was going to take on around this place WITHOUT INTERRUPTION. I might have even been a weensy bit braggy about it (Your kids don’t all go away to camp at the same time? Hmmmm. Bummer.). My husband had to work but that didn’t mean that we couldn’t enjoy an evening with a grown up meal and a movie that doesn’t star cartoon characters. Even Bailey seemed excited about it even though she clearly had no concept of the emotional trauma that she was about to endure. I didn’t even realize the significance of what was happening until my husband started to pack the car.
“All ready to go,” he said.
“Let me go pee and check my teeth one last time,” I said.
“Everyone’s in the car,” he said.
“I need to make sure Bailey has enough food and water,” I said.
“Google Maps says we can take an alternate route and save seven minutes,” he said.
“No need,” I said.
Despite my best efforts, we eventually arrived. And I kissed them and hugged them and tried not to cry until we got back to the car. Basically, I’m only a “Helicopter Parent” on the inside. On the outside I’m totally cool and rational at all times. Most of the time. OK, usually. Occasionally?
So now it’s been 24 hours and Bailey has stopped eating and I’m wearing sweatpants and one of my husband’s old T-shirts. We were so uninspired we watched the news together, the dog and I. She was really impressed by the teacher who invented a water balloon bouquet that allows a person to fill 20-some balloons at a time and then just shake the pre-tied little humdingers off the end of the hose. Cool, I guess. If you’re into that sort of thing. I will also admit to being a bit intrigued by a Tony Bennet/Lady Gaga collaboration but it didn’t fire me up enough to get me off the couch. We were both completely and utterly appalled by the events in Gaza so we turned on HGTV instead. Even that didn’t get us going. In fact, I think our pups might be just a weensy bit depressed. Look at her:
What do you think? Does she look OK? Should I worry? Call me.
She actually looks how I feel. Except just around the eyes because I don’t actually have a beard and a unibrow. Yet. Time will tell.
Thanks to Facebook, we know that the kids are having all kinds of fun. Without us. Bailey and I are home moping around missing our people and they’re out canoeing and rock climbing and archery-ing. I’m glad they are happy and all, but I don’t have anyone to clean up after and Bailey has no laps for her naps. Because, really, if that’s what you did all day? Take naps on laps? (Yeah. She’s totally a nlapper. I just made that word up. The “n” is silent. It basically means that the only time of day that she actually isn’t sleeping is when she is traveling from the lap of someone who has to get up to the lap of someone who just sat down. But you probably already deduced the meaning of my imaginary word from the context. Anywho…). So, if you were her? You would be completely lost without laps. Lost. I mean, at least I have Pinterest to turn to after discovering that I would only have to clean the bathroom once this week. Bailey, on the other hand, just curls up in a blanket for some faux-nlapping and looks around with her giant, heavily uni-browed, dark brown doggie eyes.
Sad. We are so sad.
But they will be home soon. Best part? Listen carefully, because this is the only rational thought you are going to find here: I dropped off three super-confident, excited kids who hugged and kissed their parents good bye and marched off on a positive growing adventure without a care in the world.
I get it. Ultimately, with a little luck and a whole lot of parenting, they will confidently find their way in the world without us. With that in mind, I am pretty sure that I’ll be OK.
But I am still a weensy bit worried about Bailey…
